Unrequited?
by Elanquest
Summary: What happens when Caitlin faces the facts of her one sided relationship with Hawke.
1. Chapter 1:  Goodbye String

"Just go, Hawke."

The tears came to Caitlin's eyes as he came through the door. She couldn't hold them off anymore. She was packing up her locker at Santini Air and had just picked up a photo. It was of her, Dom, and Hawke not long after she'd moved to California. They were all smiling and if she stood a little closer to Hawke than Dom she hadn't noticed it at the time. She should have noticed. She couldn't believe she'd let herself go this far. She felt like a teenager who had little experience with affairs of the heart. Caitlin knew now she had deluded herself. She made excuse after excuse each time she was forced to see her situation for what it was. She loved Stringfellow Hawke and he didn't feel the same. Oh, she knew he cared for her was probably even very fond of her, but love? No. He just didn't see her that way. The brief instances when he'd seemed attracted to her were always followed by him putting distance between them. It was as if he'd been drawn into the moment and then didn't want to lead her on.

"Talk to me." She heard the concern in his voice.

"Just leave me alone." Caitlin placed the photo into the box. The last relic of a life she had decided to leave behind.

Hawke heard the words, but saw the tears. She was hurting and he felt the need to offer what little comfort he could. He took the four steps to her quickly and folded her into his arms. She melted into his embrace the tears starting to flow against his shoulder. Suddenly, she pulled back trying to break his hold. He instinctively held on. She pushed at his shoulders.

"Leave me alone," she sobbed. "Please. I just can't do this anymore." She laid her head back on his shoulder and rested a moment as the tears flowed. She had already made her decision. For her own sanity, she had to move on with her life. Caitlin wanted more than just friendship to fulfill her. She wanted a family of her own. It was just so damned hard with him holding her. She took a step back. He let her his hands clasped behind her back at the waist. Tear filled gray eyes met compassionate questioning blue ones.

"I'm leaving."

The packing meant she was leaving Santini Air. He could clearly see that, but her words suddenly had him feeling an ache in the pit of his stomach. It sounded like there was a finality to the statement.

"California," she said as if in answer to his thoughts.

Shock, denial, and something else flitted across his face before he regained control and looked impassive. His body had gone rigid. He didn't know what to do much less what to say. Thoughts bombarded his mind as everything but her face left his vision. He remained silent but made no move to release her.

"Look Hawke. It's for the best." _Why is he so damned silent?_ "I've already said goodbye to Dom and everyone else..." she suddenly couldn't meet his eyes, "can get along fine without me."

"When?"

The question hung in the air between them. He spoke calmly. How could he be so calm? She was leaving and he didn't know when or, he swallowed, if she was coming back. But, he had to know. He _had_ to know. Just like he had to know what happened to Saint John in Vietnam. The need had suddenly become part of his core.

"Tomorrow."

Hawke dropped his hands to his side and lowered his gaze. He couldn't let her see what had to be in his eyes. He felt so selfish. He didn't want her to go. He would miss her. He was hurt. How could he be thinking about himself while she was crying? About how her absence was already affecting him even though she stood before him. Her words came back to him and he silently agreed. It was for the best. Away from him she'd be safe. She wouldn't be used for her connection to Airwolf to him. If anything happened to her, he knew he would never forgive himself. It was the reason he'd never fully given in to his feelings. Tried every time he'd slipped to reestablish the friendship only aspect of their relationship. He couldn't bare the thought of her dieing.

"Goodbye String," she said the words so softly he almost didn't hear them.

He snapped his gaze back to her face. He saw deep sorrow and pain. He hadn't know that being here had hurt her so. He wondered at what caused her so much pain and mentally kicked himself for being so distant lately. He should have been there for her like she had always been there for him. Even when they'd first met, he knew she would help him. He had looked into to those bright honest eyes and knew he could trust her with his problems. He should have helped her through whatever it was.

_If I hadn't been so wrapped up in my own issues, would she be leaving now?_

The thought haunted him. He pushed it away.

_It's too late _now.

He would do as she asked. He would let her go. Hawke knew it would be the hardest thing he'd ever done.

Before he could stop himself, he asked, "Are you coming back?"

He was amazed his voice was so steady as an overwhelming sense of loss began to fill him at her words. He hoped she'd say yes. He needed something to hang on to. He felt like he was suffocating and took a deep breath.

"I...I don't know." Caitlin's voice cracked on the halting words.

He studied her tear streaked face. Cupped her cheek in the palm of his hand. He began to brush tenderly at the tears with his thumb. He wanted to kiss her one last time.

She stood a moment, savoring his touch, her eyes closed. She didn't dare look at him. She couldn't bare to see the compassion so close to love. It would be too easy to convince herself there was something more in his eyes. Too easy, she knew, to lose herself again to the idea that they had a future as something more than friends. She felt his gentle thumb almost caressing her cheek and swallowed as he began to tilt her face up to meet his. She recognized the move. It was the same one he used on the rare occasions he kissed her. She couldn't, wouldn't let that happen. Her resolve would dissipate with no ground gained. She turned away with a force of will she was surprised she still possessed. Caitlin picked up her box of belongings and began to walk away. Each step closed the door on what could have been.

_No. It could have been only to me._

She walked more resolutely. He let her go, step by excruciating step, as he began to realize just how much he was loosing.


	2. Chapter 2:  Without you

The day after Hawke watched Caitlin walk away from him in the locker room at Santini Air, he stayed home. He knew that if he went to town he'd try to stop her from leaving. Being in L.A. had hurt her deeply though he didn't know why. He wouldn't stop her from relieving that hurt despite his own feelings. He had always hated it when she was in pain, physically or emotionally. He had tried to comfort her while keeping his own feelings concealed. It had been difficult at times to deny his attraction to the feisty red head an attraction that had confused him from the start. It wasn't because she was beautiful though he thought of her as more cute than beautiful. It was more that he just couldn't peg her. She had been open and honest when they'd met, but cautious too. She was smart. She figured out with minimal evidence that it was him who flew the helicopter that saved her not once but twice. And she had an indomitable spirit and force of will. She'd tracked him down easily and walked right into life at Santini Air as if she had always been there. He'd never made friends quickly and enjoyed the easy rapport they had. It was something he usually didn't have to work at. They had been great friends offering each other support. Except when he let that attraction to her slip.

He counted the hours then minutes to when she was scheduled to leave. When the time came and went for her departure he took his cello out to the pier on the lake. He sat on the old fishing stool for a long moment taking in the sights of his home, the cabin, the lake, the mountains that framed it all. It had always been his refuge. It had always been so peaceful. It was where the Airwolf team unconsciously gathered after missions to decompress. Where he would sometimes have quiet moments with Cait after Dom had gone to bed. He pushed that thought away and began playing. He didn't think about what he played as he coaxed the notes from the Stradivarius. He simply played. Even the resident eagle seemed to be absent as he played without concentrating. He wasn't aware when the tears started flowing. He only knew that when dark descended and he finally let the last haunting note die his cheeks were damp.

He didn't get out of bed in the morning. He lay curled around a pillow watching the smoldering embers in the hearth. Urgent need propelled him from the bed to the bathroom sometime that afternoon. He put several logs in the fireplace and laid back down. Tet, his blue tick hound laid his head on the edge of the bed to look intently into the face of his preferred human. Hawke reached over pushed him away. He couldn't look into the silently pleading brown eyes. He wasn't ready yet. She was gone and he had no right to be comforted.

He continued in much the same way for the first week Caitlin was gone. Only eating sporadically. The second week, he added playing the cello to the routine though more often than not he did so in the cabin. He replayed the memories of the times they shared just hanging out. He missed her. He missed everything about her. He would find himself staring for hours at a picture of the two of them. During the middle of the third week, he heard a chopper on approach to the cabin, Dom. He didn't want to see Dom or anyone else but Caitlin. So, he grabbed a few things and left the cabin by the back door as the Jet Ranger descended to land on the pier.

"Hey kid!" Dom called as he opened the cabin door struggling to balance the box of groceries he held. "Kid you here?" A quick search of the rustic cabin confirmed it was empty. He took note of the rumpled bed, dirty laundry, and unwashed dishes. He thought the kid would take it hard, but...String hadn't been this bad since he'd come back from 'Nam without Saint John.

Dom decided to wait and see if the kid was avoiding him. He knew String would have heard the chopper come in and figured even if he'd been out for a walk it would only take him an hour at most to make it back. To occupy his time he put away the groceries, started a load of laundry, and did the dishes. Two hours later, the laundry done, he could no longer deny that String was definitely avoiding him. Dom left a note telling String about a particularly difficult stunt job coming up in a couple of days that he needed help with and left.

String returned to the cabin when he heard Dom's chopper leave. He was thankful the older man had left. He had been afraid Dom was going to stay the night to see if he would return. He knew Dom would want to talk; and, he couldn't talk about it. Not yet. He read the note and sighed. Two more days and he'd have to deal with people again. What was worse was that he would have to go back to the hangar knowing Cait wouldn't be there. He didn't know if he could do it yet. But, he had to try for Dom.

The day came and he forced himself out of bed. He stumbled to the shower to let the hot water wake him fully. Reluctantly, he shut the hot water off and grabbed a towel. Staring at himself in the mirror not daring to meet his own eyes, he let out a sigh.

_Maybe Dom can get by without my help._

He pushed the thought away and started to shave for the first time in three weeks.

He arrived at the hangar and sat on his motorcycle. Dom's jeep was already parked in the adjoining space. If Dom wasn't counting on him, he'd turn back around and head for the hills. As it was, he sat for an indeterminate amount of time before walking over to the door and going in.

"Hey kid. Glad you made it. I was starting to worry."

Dom greeted him. Hawke was gaunt. His eyes looked haunted. He couldn't have eaten or slept much in the last few weeks.

_Man, he looks bad._

"You had breakfast yet?"

"Sure," Hawke lied as he headed for the coffee. He poured himself a generous cup and gulped it down. He poured another before he turned and looked at Dom. He saw worry and concern on the older man's face. Dom was old enough to be his father and had acted as such for more than half of Hawke's life. He was also the best friend Hawke had ever had until Cait. The thought stopped him short. She wasn't here. They met each others eyes.

"String," Dom said. His voice carried the concern evident on his face.

"Fill me in on this stunt." Hawke cut in with a tone that brooked no argument.

Dom sighed. It would keep. He gave Hawke all the details and they made the trip to the studio in silence. Hawke performed the stunts perfectly and automatically. He was completely focused on the job. The day passed and he found himself nibbling on a sandwich sometime that afternoon between takes. He looked up when he heard a woman's laugh and spotted a red head talking to one of the gaffers. He immediately drew comparisons between the young woman and Caitlin. He scowled. It was for the best, he told himself. Her life here had caused her nothing but pain. Being with Airwolf had its risks, being with him...could be fatal. It didn't matter that she hadn't actually been _with_ him as he faced the fact, now that she was gone, of how much she really meant to him.

"We're all set for the final shoot."

Dom's voice broke him out of his reverie. He took one last look at the red head.

"Yeah."

Dom followed his young friend's gaze and shook his head as Hawke stalked off to take his place.

Back at the hangar, everything had been put to rights for the day and Hawke made to leave. He couldn't stay another minute. He kept expecting to see Cait around every corner. He could almost hear her laugh, see her smile. He expected her to come barreling out of the office to complain about something or other to Dom. He missed the verbal sparring, the everyday banter he had so recently taken for granted.

"You want to catch some dinner, Kid?" Dom asked before he made it to the door.

He stopped. His hand was on the knob ready to turn. He had almost escaped.

"No."

"Kid if it's that bad just go get her."

Dom's no nonsense tone almost brought a smile to his lips. Hawke turned on his heel. He ran his fingers over his hair. He'd need a haircut before long if he wanted to maintain the pseudo military style he favored.

"She doesn't want to be here, Dom." He said the words with a quiet desperation and met the the other man's eyes for only the second time that day. "It hurts her too much and I don't even know why."

Dom heard the anguished plaintive voice. He saw the unshed tears and sheer will it was taking Hawke to maintain control. His heart broke for the boy.

"You didn't ask?"

The silence answered Dom. He harrumphed as he walked over to pick up his blue Santini Air jacket. He took an envelope out of the pocket.

"This arrived in the mail today."

He handed over the letter size envelope. String took it and recognized the flowing script immediately. It was from Cait. He fingered it slowly then shoved it in his jacket pocket. He left in a hurry suddenly needing to be anywhere but there.

Back at his cabin, Hawke poured himself a glass of wine. He stared at the envelope lying on the built in bar. He took a sip of wine and belatedly realized the vintage was one that Cait had particularly liked. He sat the glass down and looked back at the envelope. He picked it up with a shaking hand. The return address and postmark placed her at her family ranch in Texas. She'd gone home before to visit. Once, she was gone a whole month. But, she had never written him a letter during an absence. Although, in the past, they would have spoken on the phone several times by now. He put the letter back on the bar and drank his wine quickly. He left it there as he went up to bed. He didn't want to read it. Somehow he knew that if he did there would be no hope left that she'd come back.

Daily it mocked him. Taunting him with the information he was sure it contained. Still, he left it there. What did it matter what it said? She was gone and obviously not coming back. Then, as the days slid into each other, it became a precious relic to him. It was a last little bit of herself that he could discover at some future date when he needed it, when he was ready.

Michael showed up early one morning nearly a month later. Hawke would have been gone by the time he got there but the sound of the FIRM helicopter woke him from dreams about Cait that he didn't want to let go of despite who was about to darken his door. As it was Hawke had just made it to the bottom of the stairs fastening the last buttons of his shirt when the white clad spy entered the cabin. For the first time ever, Hawke wished he had a lock on the door.

"Hawke?" he questioned at the sight of the man. It didn't look like he'd shaved in a while and his hair was grown out and unkempt. If it hadn't been Hawke's cabin, Michael would have had to do a double take to confirm his identity.

Hawke scowled and went to the bar to pour two glasses of bourbon. He glared at Michael as he sauntered over slapping a beige folder against his good leg. Hawke absently noted that no white clad aide followed him. He knocked back the bourbon spotted the letter where he'd left it and poured another.

"A little early don't you think?"

Michael quirked his eyebrow and reached for the other glass Hawke had poured. With what he was about to do, he could use a little liquid courage himself. He paused when he noticed the unopened envelope on the bar. He raised a questioning gaze to Hawke as he left the glass where it was.

Hawke noticed where the other man's attention had been drawn and ground out, "What do you want? Michael." The last word was said as an expletive. He knocked back the second drink and stared at his 'guest.'

"I need Airwolf."

He let the words hang in the air a moment before he continued.

"Several border patrol agents near El Paso have gone missing in recent months. Our operative on the ground suspects a drug cartel out of Mexico is stepping up operations. Branching out shall we say. Three out of four of the missing agents have turned up dead. One disappeared a week ago and is still missing." He stopped. His gaze drifted to the letter.

"What Else?" Hawke said angrily as he suddenly got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"Another person went missing this morning." Michael continued cautiously.

Hawke caught the shift to person instead of agent. Noted that he didn't mention a name and had glanced at the letter again before speaking.

"She only took the assignment as a favor to me after the last agent went missing. I only asked because she was familiar with the territory and knew my contact protocols. Being an ex-cop was also a plus."

Hawke suddenly felt nauseous. The bourbon began to curdle in his stomach.

Archangel placed the file he had been holding on the bar next to the letter. He rose to leave. He'd put someone Hawke had cared for in danger before. He'd justified it at the time by it being her job. It had gotten her killed. Hawke would never forgive him if it happened again.

He made it to the door before he stopped in his haste to leave. He knew Hawke kept a loaded gun under the bar and saw the deadly intent in the pilot's eyes.

"She's wearing a tracer. Once you get close you should be able to track her." He said into the silence of the cabin without ever turning around. He closed the door behind him hurriedly as he caught the unmistakable sound of the safety being released.


	3. Chapter 3:  A plan

Before he even put the gun down, Hawke moved to the cabinet where his short wave radio was stored and began trying to raise Dom. It seemed like ages before Dominic Santini answered.

"String! Hey it's good to hear from you." Dom answered cheerily.

"Get the Lady then get me," Hawke demanded. "I'll explain when you get here." He spoke quickly and harshly.

"Sure, String. I'll be right there." Dom heard the panic and desperation in the few words his surrogate son had spoken. He worried about what might be going on, but moved as quickly as possible in compliance to the demand.

Hawke was already racing for the stairs when his friend answered. He knew he could count on Dom. He showered quickly and shaved before he packed a small bag. He stopped in the kitchen to eat something substantial and make coffee. He would need both if he was going to be any good to any one. He regretted the two shots of bourbon and hoped the food would help settle him.

After he filled the thermos with coffee he picked up the file Michael had left and began reading the available intel. He carefully put Caitlin's picture to the side when he got to the most recent disappearance and continued reading. He was on his third re-reading when he heard the distinctive howl of Airwolf's approach. He took Cait's picture and put it in his pocket, grabbed the file and his bag, then waited outside for Dom to arrive.

He climbed aboard the helicopter to take his seat at the controls almost before she set down. Dom transferred to the engineer's console with practiced ease as Hawke lifted off. As soon as they were clear of the treetops, Hawke engaged the turbos and they were on their way to El Paso.

"Okay, String. What's this all about?" Dom asked when they were settled into cruising. He noticed the rigid tension and the hard edge. Something was definitely wrong. Hawke handed the file over his shoulder in way of explanation.

"What? Cait?" Dom asked incredulously as he was reading through the file.

"Yeah!" Hawke answered roughly. The one word and silence that ensued summed up all the frustration, concern, and worry for the both of them. He just hoped they weren't already too late.

**Somewhere outside Sunland Park, NM a small town just west of El Paso.**

"Dom, get Michael. See if he has anything new." Hawke ordered as he looked for a good landing site to conceal the technologically advanced helicopter.

"Michael! How could you get Cait involved in this?" Dom started his harangue as soon as the white clad spy appeared on screen. "If it wasn't enough four of your people were already dead or missing you put her in danger too. I thought even you would have learned after the last time. You ..." He cursed in Italian calling the spy every name in the book. He was so wrapped up that he didn't notice the way Hawke froze in the seat in front of him at the suggestion of what happened to Gabrielle and it implications toward Cait.

"If you're quite finished, Dominic," Archangel interrupted. "You're there to do a job. I'm sending you the data Cait managed to get just before she was taken. There is evidence Carlos Vega is trying to influence the governor of New Mexico into providing State documents to illegals. He's taking credit for the Amnesty Act. It's possible he's paid off several U.S. elected officials to further his goals. Seems he's a champion to the Mexican underclass, so don't expect any cooperation south of the border. I can't stress how important it is that this man be taken into custody." He leaned in. "I'm telling you to bring him back alive."

Hawke spoke for the first time in a voice that could cut steel.

"And, I'm telling you. Archangel." He spat the rarely used by him codename as if it were disgusting. "If anything has happened to that girl, God help him. And you!"

He closed the connection with finality.

"Take it easy, String." Dom tried to calm the younger man down. "We'll find her all right. You'll see."

He didn't know which one of them he was trying to convince more. Caitlin had become like a daughter to him since she had moved to California. He didn't want anything bad to happen to her. And, if the last few months were any indication, he wasn't at all sure String would recover if Cait died.

It took a few hours to sift through the additional data Michael had sent. When they were done they had a possible location for where Caitlin might be. They hovered at a high level for reconnaissance.

"I'm picking up the tracer, String. She's definitely down there. Looks like theyhave some good defenses. It might be tough getting her out especially if she's..." He let his voice drift off. String didn't need to hear the if she's hurt or worse. He was already imagining the or worse.

"Okay. We need a plan." Hawke informed Dom as he veered the helicopter off in a hard right turn to head back to camp.


	4. Chapter 4:  This isn't over

The plan, such as it was, was risky. Hawke would go in acting as an agent for a buyer of drugs and other possible merchandise. His longish hair played in to a former personae he'd used when he worked for the FIRM on a regular basis. He just hoped Cait had the few days it would take to set up the meeting with Carlos Vega.

Carlos Vega was a short plump man who ruled his minions with an iron fist. His well tailored charcoal suit and short cropped hair gave Hawke the impression the man had watched one too many Godfather movies. His dark brown eyes were cold and calculating. The only obvious human emotion displayed was greed with a healthy dose of caution. He sat behind a sturdy oak desk in the large office Hawke had been led to. Various pictures of him with several foreign dignitaries hung on the white plaster wall. Hawke glanced over several taking note of those from the U.S. and one in particular of Manuel Noriega.

"Interesting friends." He commented. "Though a bit eclectic."

"Yes, Mr. Howard." Vega responded. "One doesn't get to my position in life without diversification." He fingered his thick black mustache. "You're primarily a pilot for Mr. Wolf, aren't you?" Vega carefully cut the end off a Cuban cigar before placing the other end between thin lips. "Now you're acting as agent?"

"Diversification."

A smile played across Vega's face.

"Lets get down to business shall we. I can readily meet the first requirement in bulk. Your second requirement is a bit more...Shall we say challenging."

"As I said when I requested this meeting, _All_ merchandise," Hawke stressed "must be top quality."

"I have recently acquired a specimen that may be to Mr. Wolf's specification."

"I'll be the judge of that." Hawke narrowed his gaze on the other man but let a smile twitch at his lips.

"To the inspection shall we." Vega rose and led Hawke from the office. He was flanked by what could only be described as muscle. Both men were taller and bulkier than Hawke and each had an Uzi slung over one shoulder. It would be difficult at best to overpower them.

The garage he was led to contained several hundred kilos of cocain bricks.

"It'll do." Hawke remarked on seeing the copious amounts of drugs.

"Don't you wish to test it." Carlos Vega looked smugly at him.

"It isn't necessary. Given the consequences Mr. Wolf is know for imposing on those who cross him." Hawke gave the man a pointed deadly stare that said your goons may kill me but not before you drop dead.

Vega swallowed hard under the intent gaze.

"On to the more interesting merchandise then."

They strolled over to a small building near the center of the compound. It had a solid wooden door and bars on the deep set windows. The white stucco that covered the building had evidence of gunfire riddled across one side. Inside was a small alcove with two doors. Hawke was directed toward the one on the right which was guarded by another man.

_Figures,_ he thought, _why can't we ever catch a break?_

Carlos slid back a small panel in the heavy wood door. The slim red head inside turned at the sound and threw the only weapon she had in the room furnished only with a bed, her shoe. The black combat boot hit the door with a satisfying thunk and Hawke instinctively flinched away from the opening.

"Feisty. She'll do no?" Carlos had a wide grin on his face.

"Very." Hawke couldn't keep the mirth from his voice.

"You wish to inspect more closely?" He leered knowingly.

"Sure." Hawke gave a wicked grin and let a hard lust show in his eyes.

Carlos laughed and nodded to the guard. The guard took a key and unlocked the door for Hawke to step inside. The door locked behind him.

Hawke found himself ducking another boot as he entered the room. He rushed toward Cait under the watchful eyes of Vega. She gave him a karate kick that sent him back against the wall. Booming laughter came from the slit in the door. Hawke recovered deflected her blows and pinned her hard against the wall. He gave her a hard kiss and the door slit closed. He pulled back from her face an inch, caught her eyes with his and held them.

"Are you okay?" he asked in a harsh whisper.

"Till you slammed in the wall." She shot back at him a little angrily. He saw different emotions flit across her face so fast that he couldn't be sure if she was really mad. "It figures Michael would send _you._" She said in an exasperated tone.

He assessed her for a moment. To his instant relief she seemed unharmed. She looked good in the green army tank top and black cargo pants she wore. He succumbed to an uncontrollable urge to kiss her deeply.

She pushed him back hard.

"Don't Hawke." She warned. "Not again."

The hurt he'd seen almost three months ago hit him again in full force from her eyes until she shook herself.

"What's the plan? The other agent is in the room next to me. He's still alive for now."

He quickly told her to be ready tomorrow morning and watch for his arrival. He handed her the knife he had concealed in his boot.

"Stay safe." He brushed her hair from her face.

When he heard the door panel begin to slide open, he grabbed her and threw her hard on the bed. He pinned her underneath him while she struggled appropriately. The door panel closed again with a resounding thunk.

"Cait," he said huskily suddenly very aware of his body in relation to hers.

"We don't have time for this." Cait hissed and slapped him hard. He rolled away from her as she ripped her tank top down the front. "It has to look good." She said in answer to his questioning gaze.

"This isn't over." Was the last thing he said as he pulled his shirt from his pants and undid his belt. He knocked at the door and demanded the guard open up. The guard complied and leered hungrily at Cait who had dropped her cargo pants down and was now attempting to pull them back up.

"As long as she stays in her current unspoiled state," he warned the guard, "Mr. Wolf will pay nicely for that one." He walked out nonchalantly tucking his shirt back in.


	5. Chapter 5: How we got here

"Well?" Dom asked as soon as Hawke drove in to camp that night in the old Army jeep provided by his FIRM contact.

"Well what?"

"Did you see Cait? Is she all right?"

"Yeah, I saw her." Hawke answered rubbing his jaw where she'd slapped him. "She's fine."

"When are we going to get her out?" Dom asked exasperated.

"Tomorrow."

"You think she'll be okay another night in that place?"

"They won't risk spoiling the merchandise." Hawke answered matter of fact.

"The merchandise!" Dom raised his eyebrow and threw up his arms. "This is Cait were talking about here." Dom regarded his young friend for a moment. Hawke seemed subdued and thoughtful. He was far too calm.

"What did you do?" Dom asked in a serious tone.

"What makes you think I did something?"

"Are you kidding? I _know_ you."

"I just talked to her."

"Sure you did."

Dom stared at Hawke with his hands on his hips. He looked like he was ready for a fight. When he opened his mouth to speak again Hawke stalked away.

He had to calm down. He needed to be focused. He had to think about what Cait said.

_What did she mean by 'not again?'_

All he'd done was kiss her. He frowned. They had kissed a lot. Sometimes when Cait had been excited and wanted to thank him for something she kissed him on the cheek. Mostly in friendly affection after some crises or peril Cait would kiss him tenderly on the lips. He'd only really kissed her four times including today. The first time in front of a movie camera. The second, she caught him off guard and dropped him on his ass for being 'fresh.' The third time, hmm. He stared up at the sky and thought back.

_They were at the cabin after a particularly difficult mission. Dom was sleeping in Hawke's bed upstairs to preserve his back. His snores drifted down from the sleeping loft. He and Caitlin were sitting on the couch next to each other drinking wine and talking. First they had talked about the mission, what went well and what they could do better in the future. The conversation shifted subtly to a future he assumed with her part of the crew and a trusted friend. She was uncertain about that future. He'd flexed his hand as a distraction and winced at the pain the residual effects of throwing one right hook too many._

"_Here."_

_She took his hand and drew him closer to her. Starting at his forearm, she gently kneaded his muscles releasing tension he didn't know was there. When she got to his hand, she shifted for a different angle. In her new position head bowed, she was right up against him. He took note of the sweep of her neck to her shoulder, the way her hair parted and was slightly darker where the sun hadn't touched it. Sometimes it was hard to deny his attraction to her. He swallowed hard and tried to concentrate. She continued to massage out the kinks in his hand. Her elbow resting on his leg slipped and brushed up against him. When he responded with a slight muscle jerk, she froze. Without thinking and in one smooth motion he lifted her her head, his hand on her cheek, and bowed to kiss her._

_Her immediate and passionate response caused him to deepen the kiss and wrap both his arms around her. One of her hands went to the back of his neck running gentle fingers through his hair and pressing him closer. He pulled her hard against him wanting as much physical contact as possible. One hand lowered to cup her bottom._

_He felt a sense of loss when he turned away hearing Dom stir upstairs with a subsequent break in the steady stream of snores. He felt her hot breath against his cheek. He rose abruptly and put another log on a fire that didn't need it. He just needed something to occupy him while he got himself under control and dampened his physically response._

Damn his hearing. _Caitlin thought. She could tell from his stance and the set of his shoulders he was already throwing up walls again. He'd finally responded to her as a __man to a woman. _Damn. _She thought again. She was having a hard time calming her own response to his passionate kiss and warm embrace._

"_I'm sorry." He spoke the words softly into the fire._

_She heard regret in his voice. _Regret that he'd done it or that he hadn't followed through?_ She couldn't tell which._

_He still didn't face her as he crossed to the window chest and pulled out the blankets and pillows stored there. He deposited some at the end of the couch and set the rest up closer to the library, bar, den area tucked under the sleeping loft rather than his usual place by the fire._

_He'd avoided Caitlin a lot after that and dated just about anyone who'd agree to dinner. When he finally tried to strike a balance with her again, talk to her, she'd built some walls of her own. Their relationship was strained with a palpable tension in the air._

_Dom confronted him. He tried to get Hawke to make whatever it was up to her before it was too late. Before he found her in the locker room crying as she packed up her belongings. Before he watched her walk out of his life._


	6. Chapter 6: We need to talk

As morning dawned, Dom woke Hawke from a restless sleep.

_Soon,_ he thought._ Soon this mission will be over. Cait will be safe again. Then I'll sort this whole mess out._

He drove the old jeep into the compound and right up to the office a cloud of dust in his wake. Carlos Vega sat out front in the shade of an awning at a small wrought iron table set with a white table cloth and the remnant of a breakfast plate. He dabbed at the corner of his mouth thankful he'd finished before the dust settled on his plate.

"You're early Mr. Howard." The man said while stroking his black mustache thoughtfully.

Hawke exited the jeep and stepped around to stand within feet of Vega.

"Mr. Wolf wanted me to finalize things." He said with just a slight emphasis on finalize. "He doesn't want any undo surprises from other interests."

"He is a cautious man. Shall we," Vega gestured for Hawke to follow him through his office door.

Across the compound, Caitlin stood watch at her window. She saw Hawke pull into the compound through the front gate. Time to make her move. She arranged her ripped tank top suggestively to make the most of her modest bust and rapped on the door slide. The guard opened it and she timidly asked for some water looking as vulnerable as possible. The guard fell for the ploy and unlocked the door. Once he was through the open door carafe in one had she used the knife Hawke had left to relieve him of his gun. She knocked him out with the pewter carafe and tied his hands on either side of one of his legs knee bent to his chest with strips of the sheet she'd cut the previous night. She made her way to the other room to help the agent escape. He had been badly beaten but got unsteadily to his feet when she explained the rescue plan. Explosions and machine gun fire started to erupt from the outside. Time to go. They waited in the door of the building until Airwolf provided cover. Once the agent had climbed in Cait followed and took her place at the engineer's console.

"What happened to the guard?"

"I just hog tied him." Cait answered the agent's question.

Before the hired goons could pat down Hawke an eerie howl was heard overhead. The two guards rushed out as gunfire was heard. An explosion sent bits of plaster falling around them. Hawke grabbed the gun he had concealed at the small of his back and leveled it a Vega. Vega froze mid way to his desk in an attempt to get at the gun he had stashed there.

"Guess those outside interests showed up." Hawke quipped as he zip tied Vega's writs behind him and pushed him out to the jeep. He was just in time to see Cait and the agent climb into Airwolf.

Amidst the hail of machine gun bullets and rocket fire blowing various buildings to smithereens Hawke left the camp. He took Vega to a waiting Archangel.

Airwolf set down next to the white limo sometime much later. Hawke eagerly ran to the captains door, but his face fell as he climbed in and saw only Dom.

"Where's Cait?" He asked before he even put his helmet on.

"She said she was headed back to the ranch. Why?" Dom said annoyed. "What's it to you?"

Hawke shot Dom a lay off look.

"I need to talk to her."

"Seems to me you do too much talking." Dom returned irritated.

Hawke was silent.

"If you did a little more acting and not so much thinking you wouldn't have spent the last three months up in your cabin."

"Dom." Hawke shot in warning.

Dom was on a row and would not be deterred.

"Then maybe, just maybe she'd want to talk to you too. You can't play with her feelings and then expect her to go back to the way things were."

String stiffened in his seat.

"What did she say?"

Every word seemed like it hurt him to say.

"She didn't have to say anything," Dom growled back at him. "I raised you since you were twelve. I know when you put up walls and can usually figure out why they're there. If you weren't so mule headed and put all that distance between the two of you, she never would of left us in the first place. I've kept out of it for the most part; but, I'm telling you right now either leave her be or commit wholeheartedly. Because if you hurt her anymore, I'll...I'll," he stumbled over the words. In truth, he really didn't know what he'd do. "Well, you just be sure you don't hurt her anymore!" He finished with a harrumph and refused to speak to Hawke for the rest of their trip home.

Hawke for his part thought long an hard about what Dom had said. It was rare for Dom to chew him out in earnest over anything much less personal issues. He knew how much the older man cared for Cait. He just hadn't wanted to face the facts that he was responsible for Cait's pain. That it was his own self preservation that had caused her so much pain. That his determination not to give in to his feelings, was the reason she'd left.


	7. Chapter 7:  Commit

One week later...

Stringfellow Hawke stood on the covered wrap around porch of the O'Shannessy home in Texas. The two story ranch home was was white with black trim. Two massive oak trees flanked either side and a porch swing hung just to the left of the front door. The inner door had been left open and he could see a central hall and stairs through the screen door. He pushed his fingers through short cropped hair in a nervous gesture, before knocking solidly on the the door frame. He watched as a heavily pregnant woman entered the hall from a side room and came to the door.

"May I help you?"

The voice sounded so like Caitlin's and the woman looked so much like her that he had to clear his throat before he could speak.

"Is Caitlin O'Shannessy here?"

"She went for a walk. Mr.?"

"Hawke. Stringfellow Hawke."

The woman tilted her head at the name and stepped out onto the porch to get a better look at him. She let the screen door slam shut beside her and gave him a quick assessing once over.

_About 5'10", lean and muscular. Boyish good looks. Seems to have a hard edge about him too._

Then she met his eyes. They were the most incredible shade of blue. Although his face gave nothing away, his eyes were truly a window.

_It was the depth to his eyes that Cait must have fallen for._

"I'm Erin." She held out her hand. "Cait's older sister."

Hawke shook her hand. She did look a lot like Cait, but her eyes were a solid green and there were deeper laugh lines around them. She was also a little taller and had more of a strawberry blond shade of hair.

"Nice to meet you. Do you know when Cait will be back?

He needed to talk to her and didn't want to waist any more time.

"I'm sorry Mr. Hawke. You're not quite what I expected." She said with a slight twitch to her lips.

Hawke looked perturbed at which Erin broke into a full smile.

"It's important."

"Of course." The smile hit Erin's eyes. "If you follow that fence," she indicated a white wooden fence a little distance from the house, "you'll run into the pond. She's probably there."

"Thanks."

He followed the indicated fence for some time before he came to a park like setting. The 'pond' was a three acre body of water surrounded by willows and great oak trees. Scattered between the trees here and there were rustic benches. At one end was a large walnut stained gazebo built partially out onto the water. A small boat was tied to one of the massive posts that supported it.

Underneath a tree a little distance from the gazebo he spotted Cait. She sat with her blue jean clad knees pulled up to her chest. Her back rested against the tree. She had an open book in her hands and turned a page. The light filtered through the leaves to cast her in a soft glow. Her red hair contrasted nicely with the simple baby blue t-shirt she wore. His heart caught in his throat. She was beautiful.

His path took her slightly behind her and she put the book down when she hear a twig snap.

"Is it that time all ready Erin?" She asked without looking up.

Hawke stepped into the light beside her.

She started at the surprise and made to get up.

"Hawke?"

He dropped down beside her and placed a hand on her leg. That simple contact made her heart jump. He leaned in an kissed her before she knew what he was doing. It was a deep tender and loving kiss.

She missed him. Missed his face. Missed his smile, his eyes. She was surprised to discover her arms of their own volition had gone around his neck. She was dimly aware his arms were around her. When there lips finally parted she took a deep breath.

"What are you doing here?" she said trying to collect her thoughts.

"A wise Italian said I needed to quit thinking so much and start acting."

"Hmm. Would I happen to know this wise Italian?" She ran her fingers over his fine brown hair. She couldn't help herself.

"Maybe." He smiled. "I love you Cait."

She stopped cold and looked into his eyes. She knew what that had cost him to say and she was speechless.

Taking her silence as the unspoken question it was he fumbled in his pocket a moment.

"I'm not playing around." He held up a one carat oval cut diamond ring. "Marry me." He said it more as a statement than a question. "For however long we have together, I need you."

She was stunned. Tears started flowing down her cheeks.

"I love you too." She said as he started to look nervous and pull away.

He pulled her close and decided at that moment to quit counting how many times he kissed her.


End file.
